Once upon a time there was a girl called Cinderella who lived in a big palace. She lived with her 2 step sisters and her step mother. They were extremely mean to her and were very jealous of her beauty. One day a letter came through the door inviting the girls to a ball. She said of course to both of her girls but she shouted at Cinderella and said she could only go if she done all of her washing up. In the end the two step sisters stayed at home, lay in bed, watched a movie and ate a full ball of pop corn!
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Amberley Y6 
Dear Abbie I enjoyed you story a lot, however maybe change the ending to fit you. keep up the excellent work.
Panayiota,
Student in yr 6.
Abbie, this is a great entry into World Book Day 100 WC!
You have worked very hard and I really like your ending with the sisters watching a movie and eating popcorn!
Keep up the hard work with your writing.
Mrs N Goulbourne, Team 100, Liverpool, UK