One day there was a girl called Alisha who was going to the beach with all her family on a very sunny day. She always took her metal detector too see if there was any treasure but there never was any treasure there. So as she lifted the metal detector out the boot she was searching for approximately 20 minutes. Until the metal detector buzzed she started to dig and surprisingly she got to the bottom. But when she lifted the lid there was a extremely enormous heap of golden money and necklaces. She shouted “We are rich!” Her family were astonished and enthusiastic as they shouted “Well done Alisha.”
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Amberley Y6 
I enjoyed your post Ava, it had a real voice to it. Remember to re-read your post after spellchecking it, as sometime you get a correctly spelled word with the wrong meaning: can you see where you have “too ” for “to” and “a” for “an”?
Super work, Alisha!
I like that you are trying to use some adventurous vocabulary such as ‘astonished’. This really improves your work; keep it up!
Mr Alderdice (Team 100wc)
Manchester, UK