Once upon a time there lived a girl. Her name was Rapunzel and she lived in a tall tower in the woods as the years went by her hair got longer she was so high up that she had seen so many princes come but although she would shout for help no one could hear her. Until one day a young man came through the woods and Rapunzel realized he couldn’t hear her but maybe he could see her so letting her hair down the tower he climbed up and rescued her and took her to Wemberley to see the football.
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Amberley Y6 
Good imagination Zara, Well done but don’t do run on sentences.
Zara,
I often wondered what sport Rapunzel might be interested in. Do you know what team she might go for? Well done on the prompt this week – retelling a familiar tale can be tricky business, but you have done well. Keep an eye on the length of your sentences, as some went a lot longer than they could have.
Keep up the good writing
Paul Huebl
Year 6 Teacher
Adelaide, Australia