Once upon a time, there was an egg. His mother told him not to play on the wall. But did he listen, no… This is the story of how he became dinner.
“MUM,” screamed Humpty Dumpty, “I’m going out to play.”
“Alright, just don’t go on the wall,” warned Humpty’s mum, who didn’t know he had already gone. As soon as Humpty was out of the house he ran for the wall. It took him a long time to get up but he eventually did. And then he fell off. Some men walked past and noticed him. This is what they said, “Yum, scrambled egg.”
Amberley Y6 
This is great – has some real energy and even in just a few words you have left the reader with a clear picture of the egg’s character. I love the way that he is eaten at the end.
You have used some good vocabulary as well – ‘eventually’ and ‘screamed’ both help paint a very vivid picture in my mind. There is humour in this too – so many eggs don’t listen to their parents these days . . .
Well done