Today was the day I had my first day training with the CROCODILE at the zoo. I arrived at 6:00 in the morning ready for the big day. I was going to have my ORANGE for energy but I FORGOT it. I released the SOFT bird after it was time to realise the crocodile. I opened the cage the crocodile was released. One more thing to do the crocs food.I served a mouse for the croc. I tamed the crocodile before I left the zoo. Now I would have my PEPPER.
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Amberley Y6 
Hello Will,
You’ve done a very good job incorporating the words into an interesting story. I appreciate that you included words like “today”, “one more thing”, and “before” that helped me follow the action of the story.
Go back and have a read, there are a couple of spots where you’ve left out a word. Sometimes that happens when you are busy writing a story. Reading it out loud to yourself can help find those errors.
Keep up your writing!
Tracey
Team 100WC
San José, California, US