I was walking across the cobblestone bridge the glistening water reflecting of the bright yellow sunlight. I was scorching the sun was shining over me with its hot rays burning all of its surroundings. I was daydreaming I didn’t see it coming. My life was coming to a end. The bridge was collapsing that was why there was no one on the bridge with me everyone was running for there life’s. I started running for my life as fast as my feet could carry me. The pebbles were plummeting into the water as fast as a rocket going to space…
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Amberley Y6 
Hi Rachel,
Excellent use of sensory detail! I feel like I was actually there.
I really liked your writing Rachel, you included some excellent words so that I could picture it in my mind and felt like I was running with the person trying to leave the bridge. I especially liked 2the glistening water reflecting the bright, yellow sunshine.” Your ending is very good as it left me wondering whether the person managed to escape from the bridge or whether it was too late.
Keep up the great ideas.
Nicola Richardson, team 100wc, Tyne and Wear, UK