It was a lovely day in France , I was with my mates .We were playing foot ball and stumbled upon a bridge. We carried on playing and it went on the bridge not knowing it was the edge I still ran on and nearly went off. I got the shock of my life nearly falling into the spiral like water below, I’m lucky I didn’t fall in or I would have died. I left the ball and went back to my mam. I said I will never play foot ball near a bridge again.We finally went back to my house.
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Amberley Y6 
Hello Jaydn,
This week’s prompt was an interesting picture of a bridge.
I especially like the fabulous word choices you have used to make your writing interesting.
Please have a look at the two sentences below and read them out aloud. Have you used enough punctuation?
We carried on playing and it went on the bridge not knowing it was the edge I still ran on and nearly went off.
I got the shock of my life nearly falling into the spiral like water below, I’m lucky I didn’t fall in or I would have died.
Keep writing.
Ms R. Orr
Head Teacher
Team100
Durham UK
Thank you it helped me out on the two sentences