I was strolling along the path,when suddenly,I saw a few people walking calmly on the bridge so I followed them. I was looking at the glistening water and then it happened. I ran for my life but it was to late I jumped but …I grabed on so tight it was almost bracking a stone then I lifted my self up it was so close then I went home and I told my mam all the story she was so shocked.
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Amberley Y6 
Hello Grace!
This is quite an adventure! I can see what you wanted to say but you have not quite added all the details for your readers which is a shame because you had some words to spare before you reached 100. Sometimes it helps to read your work out loud to see what you have actually written. I know sometimes my thoughts are faster than my fingers typing. I do hope we will see your work on 100WC again!